Fostering Independence

As a parent I’ve worked incredibly hard to instill a sense of independence in my child. My mother did it for me and it’s one of the things I’m most committed to as a mother. I genuinely worry that I make life too easy for her because I live and die by the theory that not only does struggle make you stronger, it makes you smarter. I have had enough struggle to have graduated college with honors…which as a former boss told me, means I didn’t have enough fun when I was younger. 

What I grossly miscalculated is that my focus to foster independence would mean I have a toddler that takes picking out her clothes every morning VERY seriously. This morning I ran eight, I wish I were exaggerating, eight outfit options by her. Her feedback on my pairings were less than stellar and she opted to go with the same outfit she wore yesterday (Minnie Mouse tutu dress with sparkly leggings). Lucky for me (literally because she would have punished me) her favorite dress was in the dryer. I dutifully ran downstairs to the dryer to select her desired attire and she approved of my presentation. We finalized her wardrobe choice with the same enthusiasm that a celebrity reserves for red carpet ensembles and then came hair and makeup. 

I don’t actually let my three year old wear makeup (because I don’t even wear makeup), but that girl rocks painted fingernails every day of her life (if you’ve ever noticed mine…she didn’t get that from my stress induced nail biting DNA). With her sparkly pink nails drying, her hair was ready to be tamed. We discussed the perks of pig tails vs braids and ultimately landed on her natural banana curls and a purple puff barrette that matched the purple dots on her dress. 

At what point does she become a liberal feminist from my years of fostering independence in her? I actually need to know.  I’m hanging on for dear life at this point with the false patience of a saint. At some point we shift from using this independence to make us an hour late for preschool and work to something more profound, correct?! That is a thing…right!? Should I be making her life harder? Maybe feed her regular avocados instead of organic?

And please feel free to notice her subtly flipping me off in the thumbnail photo attached to this blog post of her in her desired fashion ensemble…because as any super model can attest, you should never respect the help. But I swear if she throws a cell phone at my face, I will burn every one of her tutus.